i have so much to tell.

First, to you. Someone who played such important role in my life.  I want to tell you that i am well aware of what I did. But, given that I am still raw, still in such immature state, i'd have hoped that please forgive me. Simply because, I want to find myself, I want to be myself. Even times where i disagree with you, i only mean to voice out my point of view. Not to go against you. Perhaps you havent notice, I have change a little. Maybe it was few people around me who made me change and realise. I know that I bear the responsible of a sister, a daughter, a friend and the list go on and on. Altho I give faces, i nag, i complain, but there are things that already as if carved in my mind that i will always remember that is what i should do and what i shouldnt do. I am no blind or ungrateful nor rude, I'm well aware of what you have been through. Please trust me, I do. And, in fact living to that fact, you have brought me up with dignity,and taught me tons. Times where I am still wrong, please scold me, tell me, teach me. Because if you dont, I will not be the better person. But at the bottom of my heart, really, i didnt mean to get back at you or justify anything. I am just saying that you should teach me, should compare, but only at certain things. A simple way is: if you compare me and others who we have vast personality difference, it wont work,because i am a different girl different mindset. i can also compare you and others, but i dont now, i didnt. As approaching towards 2011 i really hope that you can notice on certain side of me, is getting ripe.(haha i mean evolving, actually) sometimes we have to go through something to really experience it, to learn from it. Although not all things we have to go through.Some mistakes cannot be mend.i know.but what if you just slowly loosen your grip, try to think that I can do things my way,and just less worried of me, with the condition of me not affecting my academic and my responsibilities at home? its quite a fair trade right? i can help with whatever at home. just bear in mind, the next time when my emotion looks like corpse, ignore me, because, its either i am sleepy,frustrated,thinking something very deeply,or annoyed coz i was sleepy. And, i really hope you could read this, and tell me what you think about it.happy new year everyone.