A Post of Trust, Faith, and Selfless Act.

I am not trying to sound noble nor godlike.

I am merely expressing words of my thoughts.

There were once someone out there who taught me and told me not to bother what others have to talk about me.

Because as long as you know people, people will talk about you.

To stranger Miss Good Karma,

  When i came to know what you really think of me behind all your smiles, "<3", and sweet words you said to me, and despite all that you did and say, I believed you. And whether if its your way to put me in bad position, or to win, regardless of which, I have nothing but disappointments in myself. True to my words and i will swear and cross my heart and hope to die if i ever have a fake words of flattery in messages i gave you, I treated you with all my heart, telling and peeling my heart for you, and actually mean it that i will be there for you, and that i felt for you..

  When i came to know what you think and behind all the lies you gave me and fake hopes you shared with me, surprisingly i did not feel regret nor feel like taking back my words. I did not even hate you. But i hate myself for giving you such impression. Anyhow, if you are reading this, I know i cannot changr your perception of me, but i am telling you this, is me. And i will continue being me, myself. Because one day, you will have your Karma back and one day(hopefully) you will realize not everyone in the world is Miss or Mr Evil. You shocked me to the maximum when there i was, a silly thing who felt so happy and gay that i have made a friend who treat me as a KM, yet you were otherwise behind me. I felt like a mice who fell directly into the cheese trap. But, i won't stop caring.

To I Am Getting Fatter,

It does not matter. Although you were the one who spoke so proud of trust and faith, out of the 100 times i told you i really cared and felt for what happened, never once you trusted me. You treated it as a joke, as a lie. Nevermind when matters like that happened, you did not even try to console me for keep having faith in the wrong thing. Nope. Not even consoling or thoughtful enough to feel how will i feel when i know those sinful things. Nor feel for me. Even after my apologies, you just blame, and speak of how much trouble i made behind your back, how I deserve not to be trusted, my big mouth. Yes. My big mouth. I am sorry. I won't blame you for what you are about to do nor what will you do. Because I will not loose myself to you. Be it that way if your act of thinking good of people is to assume people doing it to create problems for you, or being a shoe shine. No. I am myself. I can speak it out as loud as i wish because that is my intention. Because you are the black one. Not me. Just because i do not complain i tell you what i have done for you, and you always telling me how much trouble i made behind your back, it do not mean you have the right to call me a shoe shine. i am sorry. But my real intention was not seen. But only crooked by all your mean thoughts you engraved for all human on earth. I maybe stupid, i maybe an idiot, but at least i see more good than you do. I see the world a nicer place. I see more goodness in people. I do not think you saying something on the surface may mean another. I did not see these mean things coming. Pardon me. Forgive me. But if you really think i am too much, feel free to stop contacting me nor communicating me, because I can afford to have friends who thought better of me.

To Spectators,

  My piece of advice, get to know all edges of angles before you decide where to place your vote and feet on. Because your decision reflects how mature are you and your personality. Spare people good thoughts and you will benefit from it. Do not call me a culprit nor hypocrite just because i did not bother to stand out to speak and justify because knowing y'all, nothing can justify what you all think because your views were biased and clouded by rooted weeds and distraught. There is nothing i can do to ease the wall built. So please let me have a peaceful weekend ahead in weeks, months and years to come.

My performance in Performing arts were said to be disturbed. Under such circumstances, i can only say that, mentally and spiritually, i haven't been getting a lot of supports and i am really snapping. i started screaming and crying for no reason. I am sorry for the lack of patience.

To Bra Scratcher Gucci User from Manchester,

I am really sorry for the lack of communication and uupdates as i am not really in a stable condition. Whether its stress or what i don't want to give myself any excuses.I am sorry i will make it up to you when my finals are over. I love you. I still wana get my crocs ;)

good night.

p/s again: i am not trying to be noble.Beause i am not.