Of gratefulness.

A worthy amount of time was put into consideration for me to reflect recent happenings, past happenings, and my future.

Look at me. Tired. Worn out. Sore eyes. Tired eyes.
I had over 10 hours of sleep and my complexion is so horribly coloured.
Numbers of question marks hung on my head and dropped onto my head. Perhaps those question marks did knock me out a little. Knocked me from my dreamland. Knocked me back into the reality. I made a certain decisions. To miss out my treasured, peaceful Sunday schools where I had always been looking forward to every week without fail even when i was as sick as a dead log. My dad used to lecture me on this and mentioned that if only I was so determine in my studies he'd be happy. The reason, in contrary to certain amount of people's belief, was not anyone, was only the melodious voice of choir and my inner calmness gained from being in the temple, listening to Brother KC's rants and chantings. These things, i utterly miss the most. Remaining network i had there, i do miss you guys.

But these reflections I had on my way to the station or morning walks along the road, or driving off to get food,also, at night, before i get to sleep, have shown me what ended up  happening. What I should have done long ago where unfortunately, my weak will fail to do so.

My weird metaphors I recently composed was:
- As genuine as your boobs with padded bra look like on the t-shirt.
- Even if you want to be two-faced, at least make one of them a pretty one.
- Be grateful to all that happened around you; even rotten apples- they taught you how to identify them and cast it into the bin, out of your life.
- Why bother yourself whether if one is speaking the truth? Just believe and believe because if for real, they lied, they shall receive the Karma, not you.
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Anyhow recently those who had come in close contact with me would realise that i had been getting 'ilham' for all these silly metaphors or whatever you want to call them.

For those who suffered because who I was past few months, i apologise. I apologise for making you suffer, not because of who I was. Because I am in the midst of searching for myself, trying to get over bad events that affected me , pardon me, but shithell lot. I shall further improve myself comprehending along, of course of my principles which i will always stay on. Everyone shall know the real me without me needing to cover up nor put on a mask. I will.

For those who had left stains in my life, whether a scar or a lovely kiss even the touch of love and care, I thank you for all your efforts and thoughts and I need you to know i truly appreciate them. I am in place where no words of appreciation could replace whatever you have done for me. A slight mention of appreciation. Patrick, Nicole, Amelia, Foong Tsin, Eva, Irwin, Wei Herng, my fellow performing arts teachers and friends, Tennis buddies who were always there for me. I thank you all for all the love and care.

I will go on.
I had a lovely night and somehow long time MIA Kevin managed to put a smile on my face thank you.
(to be clear, it is the Kevin in the picture above)
Thank you very much.
Thou who learn Dhamma but unable to put it in good use, I shalt feel sorry for you.
Teachings from the Buddha require the understanding from heart within, which I am not sure you have one.
I am fine. I am standing back up again. After the numerous hard blows, I got up stronger, and firmer.
Cheerios (: